All people who have been domesticated are sick. Their mind is controlled by a parasite that feeds on negative emotions arising from fear. These emotions, combined with self-blame, that is, the inner judge, and the ability to play the role of a victim, build a specific value system that is a shelter for the parasite.Miguel Ruiz
This is a quote from Miguel Ruiz’s book, “4 Contracts,” which I highly recommend to anyone wanting to add this item to their self-development bookcase. Today I would like to briefly describe these 4 agreements. I believe that they are extremely important tools used for conscious living.
1. Be impeccable in words
Every time we hear someone else’s opinion or read and believe a certain theory, we make a deal. In the concept of “integrity” of the words, the term “sinlessness” is alternately used. The point here is to be sinless in words with yourself. Think about yourself well, appreciate yourself in your thoughts.
If I call you a fool when I meet you in the street, it may seem that I am using words against you. In reality, however, I will use them against myself because you will hate me for it and your hate will not do me any good.
So if I get angry and poison you with my emotional poison through my words, in fact I will use the words against myself.
2. Do take nothing to yourself
The second contract and its fulfillment is much easier if we are serious about the first. Imagine that someone meets us in the street and says “you are stupid”. If we take these words personally, several things will happen on the body, emotional and mind levels. There will be irritation, perhaps even sadness and depression. Often in such a situation the questions arise: Did I do something wrong? What does the person mean? The mind can also analyze this person, recognize that he is stupid, invite emotions and the body to attack, argue.
Keeping the second agreement protects against injury, helps to stay strong in every relationship, not to be susceptible to the influence of other people – which does not mean ignoring loved ones or being distanced, we simply cease to depend on other people’s opinions.
3. Don’t assume anything in advance
People often assume a predetermined scenario and then cling to it. We guess the intentions of our partners or relatives, people around us. When we set ourselves up for a predetermined predetermined effect, we subconsciously do whatever we can to induce it. The alternative is simple – asking questions. Let us ask with curiosity. Let us stand in the reality as it is, and not in our imaginary world.
4. Always give your best input
When we do everything we can, we put all our commitment and attention into the activity, our productivity obviously increases, but also the work becomes shorter because it is simply more effective.
Thus, being aware of our abilities and doing the activity at 100% – we reject the possibility of blaming ourselves when something simply goes wrong. Instead of reproaches (and breaking 1 contract at the same time), we have the feeling and satisfaction that we did everything we could.